The big day ...the big 3-5

Well, it's here.

Birthday's are like that. They arrive regardless of being ready or prepared. I woke up at 12:40 to use the restroom, and thought....well, it's here. Happy Birthday to me. As I rolled out of bed this morning, I quickly checked my phone for messages...and then checked facebook. (don't judge people).

A friend posted a greeting card pic on my facebook wall. It was a young woman with a turquoise carnation question mark around her beautiful face. Something about it intrigued me and I kept coming back to it as I got ready for work. Something about the question mark kept calling to me. I looked at it again at work. And then quickly started my busy work day.

And then it happened. I got why the question mark spoke to me. When you ask a question, you wait for an answer. The answer is unknown. My future is unknown. It isn't limited or bound to the pathetic, existence that I conjure up during one of my pity parties. In fact, my future is unknown. And it's full of wonderful posibilities. And that excites me. I don't have to be sad because life hasn't turned out like I wanted. I can choose to re-write what I want my life to look like.

Friends, I feel hope rising up in my spirit. And in a new way today, on my 35 birthday, despite society telling me that I am getting old and dried up, I am excited about the future my God has for me. A future that has exciting possibilities. I have so many wonderful moments ahead of me.

The best is yet to come. My best is yet to come.

Perspectives

I went to the Church's First Wednesday Service last week. As I was praying during worship, I felt the Lord address my apprehension over my upcoming birthday. He said simply, 'you can either choose to look at yourself as someone old and dried up, or you can choose to see someone whose story isn't finished. But it's your choice'. I immediately thought about this picture.

Help me believe Lord. In my moments of unbelief, steady my soul and return me to Your word.

* pic from here...http://www.moillusions.com/2006/05/young-lady-or-old-hag.html

On the eve

Hi Friends,

On the eve of my birthday, I've been doing alot of thinking. I believed a lie for too long. Believed that had my sister lived, I wouldn't be here. But, now that I am fully embracing:

5"Before I shaped you in the womb,
I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations—
that's what I had in mind for you."

Jeremiah 1:5 (MSG)

I am trying to look at this as a fork in the road. An opportunity. A do-over. No, I don't get to redo the first 35 years of my life over...but, I get to make the most of the remaining years on earth. Just like God...He's always doing something awesome like that.

My amazingly talented friend, April, made me a gorgeous painting for said occasion. (hope to post pics soon) She said it was the verse she kept hearing over and over again.

I know what I'm doing.
I have it all planned out—plans to
take care of you, not abandon you,
plans to give you the future you hope for.

Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

So, here I stand. Not at all where I thought I'd be. But my arms are open for the future He's got planned out.

For the Honor

I can't wait to purchase this album. Amazing Worship by Elevation Church.

Healing in the form of tears

Hi Sweet friends!

I went to see my Mom and Dad last night. It's October so I knew my Momma would be dealing with the anniversary of Marcia's death (she died on the 29th, buried on the 31st).

Monday night I could not sleep. So I did what I usually do when I end up staring at our bedroom ceiling while the hubs snores. I am surprised he didn't wake y'all up! ;) Sorry, back to the story....so, anyway there I was....staring at the ceiling and praying. My heart went to my Mom and the upcoming anniversary. While praying I felt 2 verses come to mind...and I determined that I would write her a sweet little letter reminding her of the promises of God. How very sweet of me. Huh?

So, yesterday when I found out my Dad had called Stephen and invited us over. I got out some cute little stationary and went about trying to write the letter. I got so far as 'Momma'. I researched the 2 scriptures and really wrestled over them. Now, in the light of day, I wondered if they'd be as meaningful as they were in my sleep deprived state. Anyway, didn't feel released to write anything. So, I put it away.

When we go over there, Dad and Stephen go and pick up dinner and Mom and I sit in den. In the past 6 years or so, this has been a time of Mom trying to 'bond' with me and usually ends up with me coming away with some deep wounds to deal with. So, truthfully, I have begged Stephen to not leave me there by myself.

He forgot that last night....Dad and Stephen leave....we are watching House Hunters International (ps...love that show - but someone PLEASE tell me what these people do to be able to afford these vacation homes! HELLO - their vacation home is nicer than my everyday home!!) and talking. She mentions it being October and that she is trying to keep her mind occupied. There is an awkward pause. God takes me to the feeling I have when we have friends over with kids and then they leave the house. The stark contrast between noise and laughter to then SILENCE....is at times overwhelming, gut wrenching, and painful. It's in these moments I grieve what I thought (and WANT!) my life would look like ... to what it actually looks like. Back to last night - my mind is screaming...say something, say something...but my heart is heavy with grief. So I tell her I can't imagine the pain she's in....I can relate on a small level to the suffering of not having one but not the lose of loosing a child. I launch into some well meaning answer about Marcia being in God's presence and how she's not in pain and she's been reunited with my Grandfather and they are having a party....and...

and then it happens.

Mom said, "I just miss her. I just wish I could see her".

Friends, can I tell you how much my heart broke for her? Suddenly, years of frustration and hurt seemed to melt away. Hard jagged edges that hurt when they hit me somehow softened. A heart was exposed. A hurting heart.

I cried when I got home. My heart calloused with years of hurt and betrayal suddenly soft and supple. I cried with tears of sadness mixed with tears of joy and thanksgiving. I am thankful that God's used the road I am on to soften my heart towards my Mom. I am grateful that while she's still alive I have the opportunity to build some sort of new relationship with her. I cried that for most of my life I've never understood this woman, but, finally in this moment....I seemed to 'get' her. She aches to hold and see Marcia...I ache to hold and see my children. Different, yet similar.

This is redemption. This is restoration. This is life giving.

What an amazing God we worship. He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He is amazing.

Status Updates

I posted on my facebook status update that I was thankful for the life God's given me. After I typed it and posted it....I began to REALLY search my heart. Am I? Do I live my life with a heart of gratitude towards my Saviour for the AMAZING life He's given me?

On the surface - absolutely! But if I am really honest, not all of the time. Most of the time I am overwhelmed with laundry, dishes, housecleaning, a demanding career, a strong desire to do some kind of ministry, etc. I pray to God and ask Him to bless our household so we could afford this or that....then, as I clean whatever He blessed us with...I often murmur about how tired I am or how my back hurts.

Last night at small group I prayed for a sweet friend and her family regarding an upcoming trip to "the most magical place on earth". I prayed for her to stop and soak in life. Not to be so busy with making sure her husband and boys were taken care of, that she lost the precious moments in front of her. I prayed for to make lots of happy memories.

As my friends all left and house was quiet, I felt God convict me of the same. He gently reminded me that it isn't ultimately about a clean house....rather did the people who lived in the house feel loved? Did I introduce them to Him? His loving character?

It isn't ultimately waiting to do ministry until I am at my goal weight. It's about imparting the word of God to those around me at my current weight.

And in a very silly way, it isn't about waiting to go to the pumpkin patch until we have children. It's about going to the pumpkin patch now and living each day to the absolute fullest for HIS glory.

I guess what I am trying to say, is a thankful heart is one who does everything out of a posture of worship. I will straighten my house while thanking Him for his provisions, I will minister to others while praising Him that I have victory with my weight struggles and I will joyfully go to the pumpkin patch believing in His promise to me that we will have children one day.

I will thank Him for what I have instead of questioning Him on what I don't have.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Cor. 10:31

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Monday! Monday! Monday! ..... Reflections

Covenant Friendships

So get this, I walk into church yesterday and right before the message starts. They say there will be a special guest speaker. Guess. Who. It. Was?

John. Maxwell.

While I realize he's just a man....he's someone I've read and incorporated many of his leadership/relationship principles into my life. I really respect him. I really respect the anointing that is on his life.

So, needless to say....I was interested in what he had to say.

I HIGHLY recommend you watch the service. I have no idea who to link or hyperlink...but, send me an email and I'll send it to you! (that I do know how to do!)

I started to type out all of my sermon notes...but, then I deleted them because you have other things to do than read my notes. The gist? Most friendships fail because we don't have a strong enough commitment to that relationship. Our goal should be to raise the level of commitment from convenience to covenant.

He told a story about a couple of years ago when he had a heart attack. The docs told him to clear his schedule for 6 months. He instantly started thinking of all the people he'd have to let down by canceling the speaking engagements. Shortly thereafter, his phone rang and it was his friend Jack Hayford. Jack called and told him that he would fulfill each of John's speaking engagements for the next 6 months. He made John promise to let him carry that load, John found himself asking how he deserved that kind of friend. That's a covenant friendship, one not based out of convenience but grounded in unconditional love and commitment.

He challenged us that everyday we either made deposits into our friendships or withdrawals. We are either +'s or -'s. We have to be intentional to have a covenant friendship. Being that everyone is selfish, we have to go out of our way to invest in the friendship.

He ended it by telling a very compelling story about his dad. It really touched my heart.

I am so eternally grateful for my covenant friends. You each bless my life immeasurably and I love each of you.

When Friends aren't Friends

This post is hard for me to write. Those of you who know me know that I am a connector and fall into the habit of trusting everyone with my heart until they tell me they aren't worthy of trust. And usually that it takes many times, many dissapointments and hurts before I protect my heart. Many days, I wish I wasn't like this. But, then again, I am glad that I am....because in some strange way, I know that loving people is how God made me.

Well. I am there. Friends who said they had my back, didn't. I guess they never did, really. Years - mind you. So many times going around this same mountain. And then it happens...not an offense mind you. Just the picture coming into HD. Crisp. Clear. *facepalm*

I am not hurt or offended. Sad? Sure. But, then again I am not. I am glad that I've been able to see the situation for what it is! And that's ok. Because, I am better off for knowing them. And better off for experiencing this.

We just started a sermon at my church called Covenant. This Sunday we are talking about Covenant Friendships. I am excited and will be posting on Monday my "reflections!" :)

Happy Weekend....oh, and it's homecoming here at the UA...so ROLL TIDE!

Blog Theme?? Nah.

So, it's been a while. Sorry about that. It's not that I haven't thought about blogging. Because I have. I guess I've just been trying to figure out what I want this blog site to be about.

Truth is, I am no closer to an answer. I love so many of my friends blogs and struggle with blog insecurity....yes, I just admitted that! :) But, I don't know what I could write about with as passion other than God and life. No, that isn't a religious comment. I don't pretend to be perfect, or have it all together, or even know what the heck I am doing most days. But, the truth is...I've missed processing life with you. My head always seems a little bit clearer after I've typed it out. So, if it's ok with you, I think I'll just leave this as non-theme oriented. And whatever strikes my fancy to write about I will. And my hope, my prayer is that it will in some way point you to God.

because in the most non-religious way possible....He IS what it's all about.

Monday Reflections

Just as the Angels sing your praises

Just as the Angels worship at your feet

I come and join with the Angels
And bow down at the throne of my King

Just as the Angels - Sheri Carr (on the CD Fearless Now)

This song is the meditation of my heart today. And while, I can't at this moment physically lay prostrate before my Abba; my heart is so there.

Things I don't understand, hurts, dissapointments, anger, sadness, fatigue, regrets, bondage, shame melt in his presence.....and I am at absolute peace. My soul quiet to hear the heart of my Saviour......I feel Him near. I forget to breath but my body doesn't seem to miss it.

Help me Lord Jesus, help me walk in this peace. Keep my eyes glued to you. My heart tuned to yours, order my steps and lead me in the way of everlasting life.

Lovin' the Bible

Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You are not in the drivers seat -- I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. Luke 9:23-25 MSG

Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean that it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get away with, I'd be a slave to my whims. 1 Corinthians 6:12 MSG

Monday Reflections

I heard a story last weekend that I want to share....

there once was a traveling journalist who needed clarity. So, he went to Mother Teresa and asked for her to pray for him to have the clarity to know what to do. She replied, 'No, I'll pray for you to trust more. That's what you need'.

2 weeks ago, I asked you all to pray for wisdom. Today, I'd like ask you to pray that I would courageously be able to trust God. Afterall, it's what I need.

Happy week everybody!

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

Monday Reflections

This weekend, a member of my family, offered to do something completely selfless for SteveO and I. So big, that you wonder if they really thought it through.

Please pray for us to have wisdom.

When the offer was presented, I immediately thought of Sarah in the Bible who took matters into her own hands. And well, it wasn't God's perfect plan. I don't want to be Sarah. I want God's perfect plan.

Please pray for us to have wisdom.

I also don't want to box God in. I have given Him freedom to fulfill His promises anyway He plans. I have given up any agenda I may have. And I don't want to miss what He's doing.

Please pray for us to have wisdom.

This member of the family, has a difficult relationship with the Lord. A product of a 'religious' environment that was full of rules and 'you'll never measure up' has resulted in a person who, by there own admission, 'doesn't know anything of God's plans'.

Please pray for us to have wisdom.

Despite the upbringing and very tough exterior, has a heart that simply wants to know it's accepted and lovely. Despite studying science and trying to logically prove everything, cannot figure our faith out. Why two people of such character and intelligence would seek after and desire to be in an intimate relationship with a Deity. Why, when faced with an obvious solution to a heart wrenching desire, we wouldn't jump and say...absolutely. Why, by her own mind, would we even entertain turning down this answer to put faith in said Deity??

Please pray for us to have wisdom.

Part of me says jump. Part of me says wait. Most of me wants to use this as a tool to develop faith in my family. But then there's that part that doesn't want too at the expense of having this desire met.

Please pray for us to have wisdom.

God, you alone know what you are up too. I trust you with every fiber of my being. Please give us wisdom to walk this road. Please give us wisdom to receive your blessings...but not those things disguised as such. Help us to discern between the two.

New Love

So, I LOVE Laura Story's new song..Blessings

....like, seriously L O V E. Could listen to it over and over and over (much to Stephen's dismay!)

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching(s) of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

L O V E.

The Encourager

I've heard for years now...

1. your a natural encourager
2. your gifting is encouragement
3. you ooze encouragement
4. hey, you need to go talk to XYZ they could really use some encouragement.
5. yes, but, your an encourager (to discount my words).
6. you have a red phone from God when it comes to encouragement.

So, as someone who is describe by people around her as an encourager, but doesn't neccesarily see herself that way....I need to offer you a glimpse inside my heart.

1. there are many days when it's hard for me to find anything positive to say. Despite perception, I am not always happy, peppy, or encouraging. Just ask my closest friends. But, when I do feel led to encourage someone, it's a very vulnerable position for me. I expose my heart. And it's not easy.

2. Whether or not my gifting is encouragement, it doesn't negate or relieve you of your responsibility to do the same.

3. Not really. I have to choose to shut out what is going on in my world. I have to quiet my soul, and listen to the Holy Spirit.

4. We are all called to encourage each other. If you were talking to XYZ and thought they needed encouragement, YOU need to step up and do it. Perhaps God gave you that conviction FOR YOU. Do not let Satan deceive you into thinking it's not part of your walk to encourage. IT IS. There is a blessing in encouraging people, don't walk away from that.

5. Being an encourager does not mean I lie. Or don't tell the truth, or sugar coat things. (just ask my husband or staff!) I really try to speak the truth in love. But, I leave the person feeling good about the situation or themselves. Don't discount my words or opinion because of your own issues.

6. I am human. I blow it all the time. Many times I've walked away and thought....well, that was fruitless. Besides, everyone who believes in Jesus.... has VIP access to the throne room!!

Please know my heart isn't to sound bitter at all! I love encouraging people! I love reminding them of God's goodness and faithfulness! Want to know why? Because it ALWAYS refocuses MY heart, MY perspectives, or MY thoughts. I really just wanted to express my heart on the issue and issue a challenge to all my friends out there. Don't listen to Satan when he says someone else will do it. If it's your conviction. It's yours to carry out. There is part of God's character He wants to reveal to YOU. So, jump in!

He doesn't call the equipped....he equips those he calls. Answer it. He's trustworthy. I promise! :)

...side note: thank you to my sweet friends who remember that an encourager needs to be encouraged! So grateful to God that we are in this together!!

Old Duck Comforter

I have an old duck comforter that has been with me since before I got married. In fact, I can remember it being used as a young adult in our house. I call it the 'duck comforter' well, because ducks adorn the foot of it. Not really my style of decor. So, typically it's tucked away until it's needed. This weekend was one of those times. Due to an accident by one of our otherwise perfect pets ;), we had to toss our current comforter. No biggie....I got it on clearance at target and paid less than $20. Anyway, as I asked Stephen to go get the duck blanket, I got a little excited. Something so familiar, so grounding, so relaxing was enchanting to me. I know, I know...it's a blanket. Stay with me.

As I was preparing to drift off into sleepy land, and slightly concerned over my attachment to a blanket....I felt the Lord bring to mind a handful of friends who do the same thing. The ones, who you don't get to talk to everyday...but when you do, their words brings life to your soul. Talks with them heal wounds, insecurities are called out and lovingly corrected, and when they say they'll be praying, peace floods your heart...because you know they will. Some, like the blanket, have walked this journey with me for a while....others are newer, but just as precious and divinely given.

As life becomes more hectic, more confusing, and downright more stressful; I am even more grateful for the Lord's faithfulness in providing these ladies. They point me back to my saviour when I am lost and bring comfort to my soul.

I love each one of you.

My prayer today.....

God,

You are amazing. I just adore you. Your faithfulness is ever reaching. Thank you for majoring on the minor details of my life. Thank you for never leaving or forsaking me. Lord, you never fail me. I am in awe of your mercy and compassion. Help me know your love more intimately. I want to bath in it!

Teach me Lord. I crave to understand you more. Help me love the way you love. Empower me to respond to people how you would want. Lord, I repent of my selfish ways. I repent of furthering my own agenda, and my pride. Lord, I repent of my pride!

I desire you above anything this earth has to offer. Guide me, direct my paths. Speak clearly to my spirit. Soul and Body, I command you to come under headship of the holy spirit within me.

Amen

Grateful for my friends

A friend knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. -unknown.

Divine Moments

Yesterday I had one of 'those' moments.

You know what I am talking about. Where all of a sudden the realization of what you'd hope your life would look like and what your actual life looks like smack each other in the face. It wasn't pretty. There may have been sobbing involved. I used to run from these moments full force. And while I still am hugely awkward, I've learned to (somewhat) embrace them. In those moments, I know the Hand of God is working....and I am not about to stop it.

I wish I could go back and tell 18 year old Susanna that Dreams Evolve, Life Happens, It doesn't work out (always) like you plan it - And that it's ok!! But, I can't go back in time and tell her not to be so insecure, to try not to control everything, ease up on herself a little, etc. Instead, as these painful moments come up, I can deal with them through the lense of a gracious, loving, heavenly Father. Whose plans for me, make my plans look like childs play.

I've said it before, I'll say it again.....I trust my story writer. I may not understand what my eyes see, or my ears hear, but I trust my God.

You Sat...

You sat
Just two down from me
On the pew.

As the preacher talked about losing an infant
My heart wandered to the recent loss of your son
I wondered if you went there too.

He said it was the closest thing
To how God felt when Jesus went to the cross.
Did his words heal or sting?

I wanted to scream
To cover or run
It’s too soon!

You stared straight ahead
Leaned forward and then back
And dared not to make eye contact

He said suffering breeds endurance,
And endurance brings character.
As if somehow to explain.

I wanted to ask
But my words
Refused to form.

I wanted to encourage,
But no sound
Exited my mouth.

At the end we all shuffled out
And said our goodbyes
But I kept going back to where you sat.

New Year

While having dinner the other night with some of my closest friends...we decided that 2011 hadn't been so great and we wanted to start the year over....So, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Instead of doing new year resolutions....I've chosen to make a list of somethings I am most thankful for...so, here goes.

1. I am humbled and grateful to a God who allows me to question while still loving and woo-ing me.
2. I am so grateful for my best friend and husband. The awesome SteveO.
3. My family....warts and all.
4. Friends who know how to laugh and have a good time, but, when our world crashes down....rush in to help each other.
5. New beginnings.

F A I T H F U L

We have started a sermon series at Church on Prayer....and I think it's going to be awesome. Correction. It. Already. Is.

I have a big time confession to make. For so many years, I tied God's faithfulness to how the laundry lists of prayer needs for friends and family were answered. Terrible, I know. I am so thankful that yet again, God didn't send down His wrath, but His mercy and conviction.

I've even blogged about what I believed about a God that didn't answer prayers. Could I believe in that God?

Well, friends. Yes. I do believe. Because, I believe that all of these years, I've approached prayer in the WRONG way. Praying is more about the condition of my heart than getting the specific item I am praying for. How different would my life be, if I allowed the Holy Spirit inside me to intercede on my behalf and direct the desires in my heart? He knows what the will of God is. My goal should be to no longer get God's will to line with my desires. But, for my desires to line up with the will of God.

I am still processing Romans 8:26-30..which I have read so many times...but, never quite heard before.

Cha...Cha...Changes

Change is inevitable and most of the time I can find my way through it...but, sometimes so much change happens at one time that I want to crawl in the fetal position, suck my thumb and rock myself to sleep.

2010 was a year of change for me. So many friends left to persue great opportunities and so many rolls were redefined in my life...that, well....I went into overload. "Initiate shut-down sequence" ... 5...4....3....2....1. And so it went for the last few months.

But, with the new year comes new hope and clearer realizations. Just as after a rainy day or week, the sunshine looks gorgeous...so does my God look GORGEOUS to me. He NEVER let go of me. In fact, this last December, He and I spent a fantastic weekend in Birmingham together. It totally rocked my heart to the core. He's so good.

One of the biggest moments was when I realized that (brace yourself) I didn't trust God. Didn't trust that He had my best interests at heart, didn't trust that He would be my Protector. He's talked to me about this for awhile now. And I halfway listened. You know how it is, you hear God and you run to the alter....give it over again .. and truely give most of it. But I thought I could retain 5%....???? ;-)

While worshiping at this retreat, God told me He wanted my heart. All of it. Every dream, disappointment, fear, failure, scratch, bump, every success I created, every worry, every hurt I given out or received. He wanted it all. He wanted to my innermost thoughts. He wanted intimacy. He wanted me to trust Him. He. wanted. ME.

First thing...Let's think about this....the MAKER of the UNIVERSE wants ME. Seriously? I caught myself quickly scanning my heart and judging it unworthy (...as if I could EVER do ANYTHING to be worthy of HIS love and affection)...

Secondly, I've always seen God as my Savior...but, not so much as my protector. Let's face it, I made a decision that I had to protect my heart myself and that I couldn't really rely on anyone else. Unfortunately, I let some deep wounds and lies from Hell convince me that God didn't really "have my back". (note to self....hey Susanna- ever heard of JESUS? I am pretty sure he has your back!)

Ever so gently, He broke me. Ever so graciously, He corrected my false doctrine.

So, sobbing and all...I saw myself hand over my beating heart over to God. He's got my back, my sides and my front.

The Irony ... He's always had them. I am just late to the dance.

Misconception

I used to think life was measured in goals accomplished (shocking, I know). Things checked off my unrealistic 'to do' list. Only in the 6 months or so, have I finally begun to realize that life is the journey. I believe we are created to have dreams and plans. But, our life doesn't begin or shouldn't be defined by what dreams or plans we accomplish. Rather, life is a process, a journey, a marathon. To be lived every day. Every minute. Every second.

The value of my life is more than the sum of the accomplishments (regardless of the arena). It's in the quiet moments that I see a glimpse of my heart finally getting it.

I doubt I will realize all of my dreams. And in this moment, I am ok with it.

Perfect Peace

Perfect Peace

Laura Story



Stay close by my side

Keep your eyes on me

Though this life is hard

I will give you perfect peace



In this time of trial

Pain that no one sees

Trust me when I say

I will give you perfect peace



And you'll never walk alone

And you'll never be in need

Though I may not calm the storms around you

You can hide in me

Burdens that you bear

Offer no relief

Let me bear your load

Cause I will give you perfect peace



Stay close by my side

And you'll never walk alone

Keep your eyes on me

And you will never be in need

Though this life is hard

Know that I will always give you perfect peace

I will give you perfect peace




I don't know about you, but I pray for all my friends (and myself) that 2011 be the year of HIS perfect peace in our lives.