Thursday, August 16, 2012

"Mommy, you look cute today"

My littlest fella this morning said the sweetest thing. He said, "Mommy, you look cute today." My heart melted. In a puddle. Right there in the car. I closed my eyes and prayed to God that I would never forget that moment.

In the extreme joy of the moment, I am reminded of my precious friends still waiting on their prayers to be answered. I share this moment with them. And I pray to a merciful and compassionate God, whose timing is always perfect, for their prayers (for children, husbands, etc) to be answered quickly and for them to be steadied in the churning sea of life.

I love each of you and am praying big, God-sized prayers on your behalf.



Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Oh blog, I don't know what to do with you anymore.

So, where to begin?

Life is so not about me anymore. I kinda chuckle at the previous post. I am pretty sure I haven't done my nails since then. And I am ok with that.

Last Spring Stephen and I took a leap into the unknown. We signed up and after going through a lengthy process, are licensed adoptive/foster parents with DHR. The chain of events that took place are quite divine and I must write about them here sometime. Even our social workers kept saying, "this never happens".

We welcomed a little fella into our home in May. Followed by a little older fella in June. This summer has been about transitions. Painful ones. Joyous ones. Emotionally taxing ones. Expensive ones. It's also been about learning to trust God. Everyday. Every minute. Every second.

Going deeper with God requires greater risks. Greater risks means more opportunity to learn about God's character. Learning about God's character means holding a mirror up to the ugly parts of my character and choosing to die to myself. It also means choosing to die to my own plans, ideals, and yes, sometimes even dreams. It's exhausting but it's exhilerating. God is always enough.

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly” Patrick Overton

Teach me to fly, Abba Father. Teach me to fly.

Monday, February 20, 2012

My nails

I gave myself a manicure this weekend. Which, if you know me, you know that's a big deal. I have always disliked my fingernails. So, I've ignored them. Tried to act like they aren't there. Just chaulked it up that I wouldn't have pretty nails like my friends. Or my grandmother! She has these long gorgeous nails. I always loved them. And in some ways, pretty nails have always embodied a beautiful woman to me.

I happened to be in target a couple of weeks ago and they were clearancing out all of their nail stuff. So, I got what I needed to in order to give myself a manicure. Even my man was surprised at my sudden interest in 'sally hanson'.

Anyway, I sat down Saturday and did it. Gave myself a manicure. Why is this worthy of a blog post, you ask? Well, because....I LIKE my nails! I think they are kinda pretty. I went with a very neutral color on the nail. It's funny, I find myself looking at them...and almost wondering whose they are!

And in a convicting moment, God whispers other areas of 'me' that I've dismissed as ugly or unattractive. Much like my discovery of my nails. I feel like I am learning to look at myself the way God does. And He says I am wonderfully made in His image.

Especially my nails.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Communion

Today was the first day in a long, long time that I took communion and didn't flench.

Having served in church leadership in the past, one of my responsibilities was facilitating communion. Which meant, I heard every complaint, negative feedback given, and demands made. For so long I resented corporate communion because it was never done to meet everyone's expectations. If we used the pre - packaged material - we were being sacrilegious, we had it too often, or not often enough, didn't use wine, etc.

I got the point where I put up a wall. It was too big of an issue for some people. I looked down on those people too. And determined that I was better off. I knew better. I was full of a religious spirit.

Unfortunately, what I didn't realize until today is that it IS a BIG ISSUE. Please don't hear me say I am justifying or agreeing with those who have VERY demanding views of the way communion should be handled. But, when we take communion....the act, however facilitated, is done in the remembrance of Jesus.

"Do this in remembrance of Me."

I was angry at those people who were so wrapped up in the way that it was given that they lost sight of WHY we participate in it.

But, I have a confession to make. I am no different than they are. I got so wrapped up in the hooplah of trying to please everyone that I lost sight of WHY I participate in it.

I remembered today. And for the first time in a long time, I remembered HIM. HIS sacrifice, HIS death, HIS life. And it felt good.

Matthew 26:26-30

26 While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying,“Take and eat; this is my body.”

27 Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. 28 This is my blood of the[b] covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29 I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

30 When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.


Love

It's interesting to watch my parents now. For so many years, my Mom was the one who kept the house running and clothes clean and dinner ready. But, in her latter years, she simply can't/won't. Dad is the housekeeper, chef, laundry do-er and health care provider. I often hear my brothers talking about how it's got to 'suck' to take care of Mom and how much patience He has to have. And, I'll admit.....I've been tempted to say the same thing.

It's sweet to watch Dad. But, I am also reminded of all the many, many years he was absent from the home - working. You see, my Dad was a workaholic. And in those years it was Mom who made sure my science project was done, that I had clean underwear, and my belly was full. She came to class plays, had bible studies with me, and took me to school. And I was one of 3 kids.

One of my favorite movies is Sweet Home Alabama. I don't agree with moving to a new city and finding a new man....but, I do agree with the point the movie makes. Marriage / Love is a living organism that is forever changing. And when done right, is a STRONG bond that can endure more than we give it credit for.

Marriages Ebb and Flow. At some point in the marriage one partner gives 150% while the other gives only 50%. Very rarely does both members give 100%. We would be wise to hold judgements about peoples marriages from snapshots we see at any given time......

Dad is carrying the marriage now. He's honoring her and his covenant before God. But, I would be foolish to think that all those years she invested in being the best Mom to me she could aren't important. The sum of my Mom's life is more than her latter years. And there were many years, she carried the marriage and honored Him and her covenant before God.

Love is strong. And out of all the Mom's in the world, I am glad God gave me Norma Jean. And I cherish the time I have with her. Flaws and all.






Holidays

Since I have been so lazy and not written anything since my birthday, I'll do a short recap on our holidays.

My Mom had a minor stroke around Thanksgiving. On the holiday itself, I went over to pick her up to for the lunch at my house and she had fallen and couldn't get up. Now, the Holy Spirit had prepared me to find something wrong....as I dreamt about it the night before. And I am so very grateful He did. As it was hard enough walking into it semi - prepared. Anyway, the rest of the day was pointless in my mind....because we knew something was wrong with her. She was just in denial and refused to go to the hospital.

She fell again the next day. Second verse same as the first and still refused to go to the Emergency Room. My Dad did tell her that he was going to make a doctor's appointment for her for the next week.

Fast forward to that week, and the doctor's appointment......she's sent over to the hospital where she is checked into the Acute Stroke Unit. Undergoes a battery of tests, and it's confirmed. She had a minor stroke. But, worse than the stroke is the realization that Mom is an insulin dependent diabetic. Her blood sugar had been out of control for over 60 days. So, when she left the hospital, Dad became her nurse and began immediately giving her insulin shots.

Now, 2 months later, they've developed a routine and Dad is doing awesome at managing her diabetes. She is still in a state of denial. But, does show moments of clarity regarding her health.

God help us! But, help Dad most of all.

Hello!

Hi Everyone!

So sorry I haven't written in a long time. But, I am back and topics have been swirling around in my brain....so, hopefully, I'll be a little more consistent.

Also, we are going to launch a blog for our family with an announcement....which I guarantee if you read this blog, you know what is going on! :)

love to each!