Wednesday, December 8, 2010

....

" You are not called to change your behavior. You are called to know who you are in Christ and act accordingly. He has given us a spirit of wisdom of revelation because He wants us to know who we are. Then all of heaven will commit to the identity you believe in. For you were made to have an identity in Jesus that is different from the identity given to you on Earth. " Graham Cooke



Wow. (I'll pause and let you read that one a couple of times.)

Monday, October 25, 2010

Lately .....

What do I know of Holy
Lyrics from an Addison Road song

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven but I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small, I never feared You at all, no
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes, could I behold You?

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life it's name?
What do I know of holy of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name on earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

What do I know of You who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood but the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury? Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

I've been angry at God. Correction, I am angry at God. All around me, people that I love are fasting and seeking God for help....crying out for loved ones healed, solutions to major problems, houses that need to be sold, desiring spouses that they haven't met yet, arms that ache to hold their own children, or the Mom that prayed and prayed for her son to be healed on earth...only for him to be not to be.

What do I know of Holy? I shake my fists at heaven, and ache in my bones with emotion.... but, what do I really believe when these potential faith crisis happen? Can I deal with the possibility that my friend may not be healed of Cancer until she reaches Heaven? Do I still believe in a loving God who might not give His child the biblical desire's of her heart? Or what about the Dad whose heart is ripped out of his chest when his child is taken from him. What do I believe in THESE MOMENTS? I have head knowledge that He's soveriegn. But even in His No's? If I am honest, my head knowledge is out the window...and my heart leads the way.

It's in these moments I realize I don't know alot about Holy.

Monday, September 20, 2010

So grateful....

Today I am grateful for....

(in no particular order)

  • Dt. Mountain Dew
  • rainy days
  • the smell of fresh cut grass
  • my paint deck and all the options in it!
  • a God that loves me intimately, unconditionally, and passionately
  • laughter
  • the innocence of a child
  • a husband who is fantastic, caring and wise
  • friends who model the love of Christ
  • forgiveness
  • Grace
  • sunsets ... a moment to reflect on all that has been that day.
  • sunrises ... the anticipation of a new day! the excitement of the unknown!
  • Great Worship...(having Ashley Martin singing it is an added plus)
  • My super-duper comfy bed!
  • our sweet lab named Katie
  • my OLD duck comforter that I use to curl up with on our love seat
  • Saturday mornings
  • warm, 'just outta the oven' chocolate chip cookies
  • cool fall mornings
  • 'feel good' movies

Friday, September 17, 2010

Crockpot Lasagna

We went to watch some friend's kiddos play ball Tuesday night (triplets - age 5). It was so funny!! And adorable!

After the ballgame, the well prepared Momma had Crockpot L A S A G N A waiting on us. Really? Something that good can come from a crockpot? It totally exceeded any and all expectations and left me wanting to us my crockpot more!

so, my question to all you friends out there...what's your favorite crockpot recipe? Any hard lessons you've learned about your crockpot you'd be willing to share?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hair Cut

I got my haircut. Several inches. Now, as most of you know, I have been growing my hair out for many months. But, while at Ulta the other day, had a wild urge to cut it. (I think I need a friend here to step up and say they'll be my dial a friend in moments like these!)

In my defense, it had been a really hard week. I had some oral surgery done on August 27th. And I was in some major pain....and the pain meds sent me into a downward spiral of depression. (Thank you Lord that I am done with those!) Whilst in Ulta, I remembered how getting my hair cut as a teenager would always make me feel better...hence, the quick decision to have someone unknown cut my hair.

Now typically, I know my hairdresser. We can engage in easy conversation...and have a level of trust established. Not so much this time. Again, perfect stranger. And she really didn't even TRY to form a connection. So, I sat there in silence. Staring at my reflection. I began to think about how we as wounded vessels try to cover up or hide behind adornments. For instance, my new haircut. Or a new outfit, new watch, etc. And how I try to hide my ugliness not only from my girlfriends....but, most importantly my God. Or maybe, like me, you hide behind humor. When really, if we would acknowledge our wounded heart, ask our Heavenly Father to heal it, allow it to be healed....how much better our life would be! It is that simple and it is that complicated.

One of my favorite stories.....

The Pearl Necklace

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."
As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.

On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.
About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver,she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

--- Author Unknown

Why do I hold on to the facade? It is that simple and it is that complicated.

Anyway, I told the lady to please make sure I could still put it up in a pony tale. And let's just say, B A R E L Y. But, it's a new 'do. And it's just hair.




Thursday, July 22, 2010

Repentance that came from an unlikely place

I love the way God talks to me through music. Even when I squirm with realization that I am blowing it....or doing something completely wrong. I love that my Saviour is creative in the ways He gets my attention.

Most of the time Stephen and I drive to work together. This has been a challenge for me. I like my own space. Music for him is a nussiance. He'd rather have it turned off and us talking. I know that I should be thrilled for a husband who wants to talk. And really struggle with guilt over this issue. But, sometimes I just don't want to talk. Don't want to make plans. Don't want to figure out whats for dinner. Or solve some problem. I just want to be. Escape into a song in far away land.

Anyway, I was driving to work the other day solo and I had the music going (at a decimal my Momma would say shows 'no class'). Miranda Lambert's song " The house that built me" came on the radio. From the first time I heard it, the song has intrigued me. My parents have lived in the same house my entire life and when I visit it, I do feel a certain 'grounding'. I can relate to an idea of missing the place where so many memories were made. A place where, when visited, all the smells, textures and memories of your childhood come flooding in. Even the unwelcomed ones.

But really the following lines are the ones God rocked my world with......

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years.
From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines.
Plans were drawn, concrete poured,
and nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream.

"Daddy gave life to Mama's dream"..... W O W

In our family Stephen is the dreamer and I am the planner. I was smacked in my forehead with how many times I discounted or didn't even seriously entertain his ideas/dreams. O U C H. Nail by nail, board by board....have you ever thought about how many nails go into building a house? Or how many boards it takes to structurally make a house? Day after day, when she looked at her husband out there making her dreams come true....do you think she felt loved? Or validated? I would venture she felt cherished....wouldn't you? Do I communicate this to my husband? Man, I want to.

Lord, please help me give life to Stephen's dreams. Holy Spirit, please quicken in me when I am about to squelch his ideas. Thank you God that you don't discount our dreams. And even when they don't work out exactly like we plan...you always orchestrate them to be even more amazing.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Review of How to Reach Your Full Potential for God

This is one of those books that you cannot judge the book by its cover. When I first saw the cover I was not impress. I thought this was going to be a boring book. But to my surprise it turned out to be one of the best books I have ever read. The book is an easy read with great application for your life.

This book is about having a balance in your life, living a clean life and not settling. One of the best statements in the book is “the bible is the soap for your mind”. I have never thought of that before so this book will get you to think. Also, I did not agree with some of the content of the book but I did not stop reading it or dismiss the book. Even though with the minor disagreement with the content, this book will have you reevaluating your life in areas you did not think you needed changing.

Overall, How to Reach Your Full Potential for God, is a great read for anyone striving to improve their walk with Christ.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255