Friday, June 24, 2011

My prayer today.....

God,

You are amazing. I just adore you. Your faithfulness is ever reaching. Thank you for majoring on the minor details of my life. Thank you for never leaving or forsaking me. Lord, you never fail me. I am in awe of your mercy and compassion. Help me know your love more intimately. I want to bath in it!

Teach me Lord. I crave to understand you more. Help me love the way you love. Empower me to respond to people how you would want. Lord, I repent of my selfish ways. I repent of furthering my own agenda, and my pride. Lord, I repent of my pride!

I desire you above anything this earth has to offer. Guide me, direct my paths. Speak clearly to my spirit. Soul and Body, I command you to come under headship of the holy spirit within me.

Amen

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Grateful for my friends

A friend knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. -unknown.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Divine Moments

Yesterday I had one of 'those' moments.

You know what I am talking about. Where all of a sudden the realization of what you'd hope your life would look like and what your actual life looks like smack each other in the face. It wasn't pretty. There may have been sobbing involved. I used to run from these moments full force. And while I still am hugely awkward, I've learned to (somewhat) embrace them. In those moments, I know the Hand of God is working....and I am not about to stop it.

I wish I could go back and tell 18 year old Susanna that Dreams Evolve, Life Happens, It doesn't work out (always) like you plan it - And that it's ok!! But, I can't go back in time and tell her not to be so insecure, to try not to control everything, ease up on herself a little, etc. Instead, as these painful moments come up, I can deal with them through the lense of a gracious, loving, heavenly Father. Whose plans for me, make my plans look like childs play.

I've said it before, I'll say it again.....I trust my story writer. I may not understand what my eyes see, or my ears hear, but I trust my God.

Friday, June 3, 2011

You Sat...

You sat
Just two down from me
On the pew.

As the preacher talked about losing an infant
My heart wandered to the recent loss of your son
I wondered if you went there too.

He said it was the closest thing
To how God felt when Jesus went to the cross.
Did his words heal or sting?

I wanted to scream
To cover or run
It’s too soon!

You stared straight ahead
Leaned forward and then back
And dared not to make eye contact

He said suffering breeds endurance,
And endurance brings character.
As if somehow to explain.

I wanted to ask
But my words
Refused to form.

I wanted to encourage,
But no sound
Exited my mouth.

At the end we all shuffled out
And said our goodbyes
But I kept going back to where you sat.

New Year

While having dinner the other night with some of my closest friends...we decided that 2011 hadn't been so great and we wanted to start the year over....So, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Instead of doing new year resolutions....I've chosen to make a list of somethings I am most thankful for...so, here goes.

1. I am humbled and grateful to a God who allows me to question while still loving and woo-ing me.
2. I am so grateful for my best friend and husband. The awesome SteveO.
3. My family....warts and all.
4. Friends who know how to laugh and have a good time, but, when our world crashes down....rush in to help each other.
5. New beginnings.